to be loved is to be known, a point of view from my introverted boyfriend.

Back on December 2023, I officially dated an introverted guy, whom I knew from my mutual. I was the one who decided to make the first move because he seemed to be a shy one. Six months later (aka NOW), I can say I get the best breed!

This six-months-old-relationship feels like listening to "You to Me Are Everything" by The Real Thing, ON LOOP. No joke.

But, no, I would not write a long ass blog post just to praise his love, patience, and tolerance. Instead, I made him to do a little interview while having a cup of coffee together and asked about how to be a good boyfriend so that YOU BOYS can learn and take notes. ;)

A guide to read this : the lines in italic is MY POV and the other in big font is HIS.

Before I asked him things, I showed a Tiktok video where a couple played a game like Charade, the girl asked about a common expression they both usually use to face certain condition, the guy should answer, and vice versa. They looked happy and it seemed like they know each other a lot even to a single details about the question.

I thought, "It is very beautiful since they love each other because they KNOW."

Then I asked, "I can see us doing this game. You know a lot about me, how is that so?"

"I put my attention to things that you like. And it does not have to be BIG. Remember the night you told me you want this one kind of Indomie? I bought it for you, sent it to your house, WITH A NORI SNACK THAT YOU LIKE. Because I know, that's your favorite way to enjoy instant noodle and I want you to get the best experience that night.

"Yeah right. For some it just like that but for me it was wholesome. You know these kind of videos (couple playing charades and having the best time together) have become every girls' standard? Like couple goals.."

"Yes. But we also have to put this thing in mind. Their happiness is not the same with ours."

"Do you have like some points for boys out there to make their relationship THAT beautiful?

"1. Patience. And it doesn't mean you have to be obey to your girl. You know that kind of girl who says "Kalau aku bilang pulang, ya pulang" then the guy go home just because she says so. No, that is not patience. I mean, you boys have to analyze what character that your girl has. If she's stubborn, then you have to be patience to find ways so that she would hear you.

2. It takes two to make this relationship works, sometimes your voice is right, sometimes mine is. We obviously have different way of thinking, and I know that some guy wants to lead the relationship but it doesn't mean that guys are always right. Example, if you want A and I want B. I would choose A. Why? Because I know that you're happy if we do A and I want you to be happy. If it's apparently not the right choice, I'll learn from that and I'll tell you that A leads us this way then we shouldn't take A anymore.

3. It's your girl, you just gotta know. I can't explain much on this one. I mean, how could you have only ONE girlfriend and still not know things about her?

"Any tips for the boys on how to choose A GIRLFRIEND?

1. Trust your guts. If you imagine having her as a your girl is amazing then just start to make a move, don't make her flaws as a consideration because as long as you want her you OBVIOUSLY would do anything to make things right and it will work out in the end.

2. Don't consider too much because perfect ones only happen in movies. Guy tends to think and see about physical appearance, while in fact we (guys) date her character. Keep an eye to how she reacts to things, how she responds inconvenience, that's more important than just looks.

3. Make sure she's a good discussion partner. Things might get rough and doesn't go as planned. There might be fights and arguments. Choose the ones who can talk things with you not fight you.

"A very good explanation! Any last words for my non-existing blog reader?"

"Work it out (the relationship). Lower your ego. Always listen to her opinion but you (guys) are the one who's in charge to lead the way."

Now you know why I said I get the best breed? :)

Always nice talking with you, Andreas!